Horror Movie Remakes: The Ugly

Welcome to part 3 of “The Good, The Bad & The Ugly”, 3 posts on the best, the worst and the plain awful remakes.

This list is of ten remakes that I think are some of the worst everdone, it’s in no particular order, if you want to view the film trailer just click on the film poster.

The Fog 

The inhabitants of Antonio Island, off the coast of Oregon, are about to unveil a statue honoring the four men who founded their town in 1871. Then a bizarre series of events begin to occur, including several gruesome deaths and the presence of a mysterious fog. We all know Carpenters 80’s classic original, this remake is nowhere near as good as it’s predecessor and is truly a bore to watch.

A young female embezzler arrives at the Bates Motel which has terrible secrets of its own. Hitchcock’s 60’s masterpiece is adored by millions worldwide, even people who don’t like Horror know this film. Then Gus Van Sant made a shot for shot remake of the original and cast Vince Vaughn of all people as our beloved Norman Bates. Not only does it make for bad viewing, the acting is very cringe-worthy.
The Wicker Man

A sheriff investigating the disappearance of a young girl from a small island discovers there’s a larger mystery to solve among the island’s secretive, neo-pagan community. The 1973 original is a British classic starring such people as Christopher Lee, Edward Woodward, Ingrid Pitt and Britt Ekland. The 2008 remake has Nicolas Cage. This is one of the worst culprits when it comes to a very bad remake.
Night Of The Living Dead 3D

We follow a group of survivors trapped in a farmhouse battling a siege of undead zombies. There have been so many remakes, re-imaginings and homages to Romero’s ’68 classic that it was hard to choose the worst, well until I remembered this. This effort is so bad that it’s mainly known for being one of the worst done, the 3D effects don’t help it either.

House Of Wax

A group of unwitting teens are stranded near a strange wax museum and soon must fight to survive and keep from becoming the next exhibit. The ’53 original with Vincent Price is a masterpiece and one of his best performances. This remake starring Paris Hilton other tv heart throbs was an indication of what was to come and that’s more frightening than the film, it’s only saving grace was Hilton’s death scene.

Carnival Of Souls

A young girl witnesses the brutal rape and murder of her mother by a circus clown and begins to have nightmares when the carnival comes back to town when she is an adult. When it comes to the ’62 original it an be used as a definition of a true classic Horror. This remake offers us a very poor and mind numbing viewing. Do yourself a favour and stay clear.
Day Of The Dead

When a small Colorado town is overrun by the flesh hungry dead a small group of survivors try to escape in a last ditch effort to stay alive. Another remake of a Romero classic, personally the ’85 original is my favourite of the “Dead” trilogy, this remake was not even close to it’s predecessor and the C.G.I. is just plain horrible, not even the great Ving Rhames could save this movie.
The Pit And The Pendulum

Seven students answer an advertisement to participate in an experiment to explore how the sensation of pain can be eliminated. The ’61 film had great stars such as Vincent Price and Barbara Steele and is still a favourite of many today. this ’09 remake is a good example of everything that I hate about Horror today, it’s like being tortured and I’m still to know someone who can sit through the whole thing.
Prom Night

Donna’s senior prom is supposed to be the best night of her life, though a sadistic killer from her past has different plans for her and her friends. Now I’m not saying that the ’80s original is a great film, in-fact it’s not and you’d think there was no way they could do worse than the original. Well somehow they managed to do that with this remake, it is so bad it makes the original look amazing.
April Fool’s Day

A year after an April Fool’s Day prank which resulted in the death of one of their set, a group of friends find themselves targeted by someone who is out for revenge. The ’86 is a slasher classic, this remake is just atrocious, it’s along the same lines of “The Pit & The Pendulum” remake, maybe just a little worse.

Un-honourable mentions

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